In Case You've Wondered

My blog is where my wandering thoughts are interspersed with stuff I made up. So, if while reading you find yourself confused about the context, don't feel alone. I get confused, too.

If you're here for the stories, I started another blog: scratchingforchange.blogspot.com

One other thing: sometimes I write words you refuse to use in front of children, or polite company, unless you have a flat tire, or hit your thumb with a hammer.

I don't use them to offend; I use them to embellish.

jescordwaineratgmail.com

Saturday, April 25, 2015

Somebody Fill Me In

News reports, and an interview, confirm Bruce Jenner is a woman trapped in a man's body. So, he'll probably pay the big bucks to have his penis removed. After that, according to what I read (It's not for the faint of heart) he'll have the doctors create the new plumbing from salvaged meat scraps thrown away by the butcher....no that's not true; they'll use salvaged parts from his own body. I'm guessing they'll avoid any tissue on his face. He has to keep some looks, since he's not a very pretty woman.

Anyway, since he was married to a woman, does that make him a lesbian? Has he broken any marriage laws? What about his Olympic medals? Surely he broke some kind of rule by competing as a man, when he knew he was a woman.

Some days, the Twilight Zone seems as ordinary as a summer evening; sipping iced tea; and enjoying the cooler temperature.  I think I'll go to the back porch, observe the young blue jays, and determine the most discrete way to prevent squirrels from trying to chew through the side of the shed.

Friday, April 17, 2015

Hillary Ate A Burrito

That's important stuff; or not. I haven't yet determined how she plans to win an election, if she wears sunglasses, tries to hide her events, and parks in handicap spots. I'm guessing the Democratic Party is throwing all their eggs in one basket, with the hope most U.S. voters are dumber than a box of rocks....they might have a winning strategy.

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In other news: An ESPN pretty face showed her ass, Twitter tweeters want her fired forever, and she's probably getting a tan during her week off for punishment.

Since it's sports, it really doesn't matter. (I know. I'm supposed to have a different perspective, but I personally don't care.)

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Muslims threw 12 Christians into the Mediterranean. Other than a handful of news sources, it's not reported. I can only assume the alphabet networks don't care. I think my assumption is correct.

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A former NFL, high dollar player will spend life in prison for murder. Thank goodness he didn't spank his child. That would have been horrible.

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An espresso machine was delivered to the International Space Station Since I really can't find an exact figure for how much that cost, I can tell you tens of thousands per pound is much more expensive than Starbucks. I hope they enjoy their espresso. Every astronaut needs a caffeine rush, and multiple trips to urinate.

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Drones are all over the news. Everyone wants one, but nobody wants to be the object of observation. It's a paradox, in my opinion. I'm guessing more will be around, more people will be upset, and a cottage industry of turning expensive drones into piles of twisted metal will flourish.

Of course, new laws will be implemented to be completely ignored by those sworn to uphold the law.

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Suzanne Somers was sickened by black mold in the past. I won't offer any snark.

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U.S. military personnel have low moral. No Shit! I find myself astounded daily by the fact that at least half haven't gone AWOL.

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I could go on, but I won't. The news is filled with information that only confirms my belief the inmates are running the asylum.

The tea is cold, and the back porch is calling. I think I'll go watch the birds.