I was picking up some pipe fittings at a local hardware store today, when I spied a weight challenged woman walking across the parking lot.
By "weight challenged", I mean skinny. I'm using that term because people get so butt-hurt when you point out the obvious these days.
Anyway, she was thin. How thin? So thin she would have to run around in the shower for five minutes just to get wet. So thin, if she turned sideways, and stuck out her tongue, she'd look like a zipper. I'd a bet a soda water she was south of 90 pounds soaking wet; even if she was around 5 feet 10 inches.
I had to fight the urge to stop and offer to buy her two family size mash potatoes and gravy from the chicken restaurant across the parking lot. That, and two dozen biscuits with extra butter; with the advice to repeat daily for a few weeks.
So, where was she going? Judging by her spandex pants, jogging shoes, and running jacket, I'd say she was going to the local fitness club. Since she was heading in that direction, I'm pretty sure I'm right.
If she's determined to lose weight, she's succeeded. In fact, I'd have to warn her to not run in the forest, since a spark from her knees striking together might ignite any dry pine straw.
I really don't see how she could build up any muscle, since she doesn't have anything to work with. You have to have some meat to work with, and she was like hide stretched over sticks.
I don't understand some people. As I age, I realize I don't need to know.
Body dysmorphic disorder and or anorexia
ReplyDeleteMost likely .
Those are two disorders I know could be solved with stolen mirrors from the "Hall of Mirrors" at the carnival.
DeleteLove those descriptions, Jess. How about: she's so skinny, I bet she's not even 90 pounds after being dipped in Crisco.
ReplyDeleteOf course, a gal like that obviously has an absolute phobia of anything resembling polyunsaturated fat, and if ever dipped in Crisco, would have a heart attack on the spot and croak immediately. Which of course would generate the question: what would her dead body sound like when it hit the floor? Like a roll of Charmin toilet paper?
Just wondering.
I've known people that were skinny, but couldn't eat enough to not be so. Being the gentleman I am, I'll say that's her problem.
DeleteSkin tighter than a snare drum eh? Some folks are obsessed with it. I like bacon too damned much to be a bean pole.
ReplyDeleteBacon is the most powerful vitamin ever to be found.
DeletePersonally I like the phrase " so skinny she'd be like cuddling up with a sack of antlers"
ReplyDeleteThat's a phrase I never heard, but will soon add to my vocabulary.
DeletePersonally I like the phrase " so skinny she'd be like cuddling up with a sack of antlers"
ReplyDeleteWell we can safely assume she's not on her way to Wal Mart.
ReplyDeleteI dunno. At 4:30 in the morning, Walmart offers the most interesting people watching anyone could ever want.
DeleteWhen we go to the beach we see a lady like that. Only she wears a bikini and it darker than thought possible.since she's always there, we figure she wasn't killing herself fast enough with the starvation plan, she's working on feeding her melanoma.
ReplyDeleteA local auto parts house had a woman I assumed was around ten years older than me deliver auto parts. She was thin, deeply tanned, and her skin was very wrinkled.
DeleteAs it turns out, someone that knew he told me her age, which was substantially younger than my own. The sun turned her skin to leather, and if she stopped tanning, she would look even worse.