In Case You've Wondered

My blog is where my wandering thoughts are interspersed with stuff I made up. So, if while reading you find yourself confused about the context, don't feel alone. I get confused, too.

If you're here for the stories, I started another blog: scratchingforchange.blogspot.com

One other thing: sometimes I write words you refuse to use in front of children, or polite company, unless you have a flat tire, or hit your thumb with a hammer.

I don't use them to offend; I use them to embellish.

jescordwaineratgmail.com

Saturday, July 26, 2014

A Powerful Moment in Church

The preacher was inspired and determined
His sermon was powerful and long
A parishioner was also determined
To wish for the end and be gone

His bowels tortured his composure
The gas having all but escaped
He prayed for the end of the speaking
So he could leave with the utmost of haste

But fate was not be fortunate
When the preacher soon took a long pause
The man reached the end of his containment
The blast was shocking to all

Like a foghorn on a foggy night
A deep tone; echoing from the walls
Fading into a low rumble
One small blast; a peep; and that was all

One woman up front soon fainted
Another almost had a stroke
One man even started laughing
But was soon silenced by his wife’s stern poke

The preacher resumed his sermon
But it was soon determined by all
An odor was filling the chamber
Only missed by those that were tall

The preacher realized his powerful words
Could never overpower the evil aroma
He ended his sermon without a prayer
Wishing he’d never left Oklahoma

So the lesson learned on that day
And should always be passed on to friends
Is that boiled eggs and pickled okra
Create farts more evil than sin.

7 comments:

  1. We had boiled cabbage, candied carrots, green beans and Brussels sprouts for supper. Don't be telling ME about boiled eggs and okra.

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    Replies
    1. Talk about tooting your own horn....

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  2. Replies
    1. Thank you very much. I suggest people keep a copy for when they're bored in church....pass it around and try to keep from disturbing the service.

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  3. Replies
    1. Thank you. The poem became a compulsion when I was mowing the yard...no I have no idea why mowing does that to me.

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  4. I understood this quite well.. Me being the little sister to two older brothers seems like any and everything brought this on with them...

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