In Case You've Wondered

My blog is where my wandering thoughts are interspersed with stuff I made up. So, if while reading you find yourself confused about the context, don't feel alone. I get confused, too.

If you're here for the stories, I started another blog: scratchingforchange.blogspot.com

One other thing: sometimes I write words you refuse to use in front of children, or polite company, unless you have a flat tire, or hit your thumb with a hammer.

I don't use them to offend; I use them to embellish.

jescordwaineratgmail.com

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

The Fact Of The Matter

I don't like that phrase. It's awkward, overused and sounds crappy. The fact of the matter is that "the fact of the matter" irritates me. Find some other way to communicate.

* I think I need to clarify this:
A typical interview would go like this: "Senator. It's reported that you were seen grazing like a cow in the pasture behind your home. What is your response?"

Regular answer: "The fact of the matter is I was dizzy after taking chemotherapy to show my support for breast cancer awareness and was having a hard time standing."

Better answer: "Actually, this crap story was fabricated by a snot-nosed college student working on a journalism major and you abused your privilage of taking part in this press conference. So, if I ever see you at another of my press conferences, Marco, my bodyguard, will go all medieval on your gimlet ass and you'll wish you never even heard of me."

3 comments:

  1. My mind went immediately to the song by Don Henley but then I looked it up and it was "The Heart of the Matter". I think I'm becoming my mother ( she thought "Jesus Christ, Super Star" was "Pizza Pie, Super Star")

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  2. I'd like to add 'let me give it to you straight' to the list of irritating phrases.

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  3. Don't forget "Let me be clear..."

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