In Case You've Wondered

My blog is where my wandering thoughts are interspersed with stuff I made up. So, if while reading you find yourself confused about the context, don't feel alone. I get confused, too.

If you're here for the stories, I started another blog:

One other thing: sometimes I write words you refuse to use in front of children, or polite company, unless you have a flat tire, or hit your thumb with a hammer.

I don't use them to offend; I use them to embellish.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

The Fact Of The Matter

I don't like that phrase. It's awkward, overused and sounds crappy. The fact of the matter is that "the fact of the matter" irritates me. Find some other way to communicate.

* I think I need to clarify this:
A typical interview would go like this: "Senator. It's reported that you were seen grazing like a cow in the pasture behind your home. What is your response?"

Regular answer: "The fact of the matter is I was dizzy after taking chemotherapy to show my support for breast cancer awareness and was having a hard time standing."

Better answer: "Actually, this crap story was fabricated by a snot-nosed college student working on a journalism major and you abused your privilage of taking part in this press conference. So, if I ever see you at another of my press conferences, Marco, my bodyguard, will go all medieval on your gimlet ass and you'll wish you never even heard of me."


  1. My mind went immediately to the song by Don Henley but then I looked it up and it was "The Heart of the Matter". I think I'm becoming my mother ( she thought "Jesus Christ, Super Star" was "Pizza Pie, Super Star")

  2. I'd like to add 'let me give it to you straight' to the list of irritating phrases.

  3. Don't forget "Let me be clear..."