In Case You've Wondered

My blog is where my wandering thoughts are interspersed with stuff I made up. So, if while reading you find yourself confused about the context, don't feel alone. I get confused, too.

If you're here for the stories, I started another blog: scratchingforchange.blogspot.com

One other thing: sometimes I write words you refuse to use in front of children, or polite company, unless you have a flat tire, or hit your thumb with a hammer.

I don't use them to offend; I use them to embellish.

jescordwaineratgmail.com

Monday, March 24, 2014

No, There Are No Ninjas

At least not where I'm staying. Everyone has a loud voice, walks like an overweight elephant, can't close a car door without slamming it and has a laugh like a constipated jackass eating briers.

So, their are no ninjas; quietly going to their room; only a whisper of sound even ignored by mice; never conspicuous, always hidden and nobody ever knowing they're there.
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11 comments:

  1. VickiMarch 24, 2014 at 5:17 PM

    You have my sympathy. I understand. I have a bar next door, a bar behind my building and two more in the next block. If you do happen to find a ninja or two, please send them my way. Perhaps they can thin out the drunken population here. The ones who congregate under my window to yell and fight each other.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. JessMarch 24, 2014 at 5:31 PM

      What happened to courtesy? It's a small thing, easy to do and allows everyone a little peace of mind.

      Delete
    2. VickiMarch 24, 2014 at 5:49 PM

      You and I know about courtesy because our Mamas taught us to be respectful of others. I see a glimmer of it every now and then, like the nice teen-aged boy who, without being asked, helped unload my grocery cart. And when I thanked him, replied, "You're welcome, Mam." And smiled and walked away. But that rarely happens.

      Delete
    3. JessMarch 24, 2014 at 6:03 PM

      I encounter gracious, polite young folks all the time...just not enough.

      Delete
  2. StephenMarch 24, 2014 at 5:44 PM

    Get naked, grab firearm and walk out into the parking lot. Yell, I just can't take it anymore....fire two shots, all while holding your junk. I bet quiet takes control....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. JessMarch 24, 2014 at 5:47 PM

      Lat week, when the spring break trash decided to rumble next door, I was ready to let a round fly in the air; if some derelict kid was getting his life stomped away.

      Delete
  3. Practical ParsimonyMarch 25, 2014 at 3:21 AM

    I own a house next door to rent house. No renter has ever been quiet except one young couple. Now, there is a very quiet owner. They passed a noise ordinance because I and a guy on the other side of town called daily. We both had police come to quiet them down. This was so noisy and often all night long.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. JessMarch 25, 2014 at 7:21 PM

      Being noisy is like peeing your front yard, while you're watching. It's all about respect, and not respecting the peace of others is no less obnoxious.

      Delete
  4. DaBladeMarch 25, 2014 at 5:57 AM

    Jess, Buy one of these door hangers and maybe a trunk monkey for those in violation.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. JessMarch 25, 2014 at 7:23 PM

      I think I'll buy a pit bull with laryngitis and chain him to the door at night. They may want to make some noise, but not for long.

      Delete
  5. TCWMarch 26, 2014 at 3:05 PM

    A constipated jackass eating briers? Now that is hilarious. Sorry for the noise but thanks for the chuckle.

    ReplyDelete

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