In Case You've Wondered

My blog is where my wandering thoughts are interspersed with stuff I made up. So, if while reading you find yourself confused about the context, don't feel alone. I get confused, too.

If you're here for the stories, I started another blog:

One other thing: sometimes I write words you refuse to use in front of children, or polite company, unless you have a flat tire, or hit your thumb with a hammer.

I don't use them to offend; I use them to embellish.

Monday, February 18, 2013

When It All Becomes Unbearable

Mindy McCready took her own life over the weekend. Call it the culmination of years of anguish and the final release of pain.

If you've never had a family member attempt, or succeed with suicide, you'll never understand the devastation that's involved. Beside the deep sadness, there's the guilt of thinking you could have done more and the constant nagging thoughts of how you failed them in their worst moments of need. These feelings never completely go away and the lifetime of changes are never good.

So, my sympathy for the family. I have no advice. You're not alone with what you're dealing with and I share your sorrow.


  1. dear jess, i know the pain that calls out to a suffering soul for release. i don't know why I am still here. great fucking post, man. the rat

  2. Life's tough and nobody...and I mean so strong that it will never be overbearing.

  3. I really don't have much to say about her taking her own life except that doing so is a very selfish act intended to hurt others.

    Her family deserves sympathy and prayers, though.

    1. They never think about that. In their mind, there is no other escape and they suffer tremendously, even though it appears differently.

    2. I agree with Jeffro. No matter how tough life gets, if you got others depending on you, particularly small children like hers, you forfeit your right to take your own life. You have no right to hurt them with your actions. My sympathies are reserved for those precious little boys of hers, who now have to deal with the fact that their Mama won't be around for them anymore, not ever.

  4. Someone with depression can reach a point where the apathy, the lack of emotions and the complete loss of hope leaves them only wanting only to end their misery. It can happen when it seems they're doing better, but they know where they've been and never want to be there again.

    I know it's hard to understand, and only those that witnessed the attempt, or success of suicide understand they were reaching as hard as they could, but never could save the person that finally gave in to the urge to end it all.