In Case You've Wondered

My blog is where my wandering thoughts are interspersed with stuff I made up. So, if while reading you find yourself confused about the context, don't feel alone. I get confused, too.

If you're here for the stories, I started another blog:

One other thing: sometimes I write words you refuse to use in front of children, or polite company, unless you have a flat tire, or hit your thumb with a hammer.

I don't use them to offend; I use them to embellish.

Friday, May 16, 2014

Over One Million

Over one million what? Miles. I've driven over a million miles, during my sojourn of life.  I've learned some things and some irritate me to distraction.

Pacing - That's when you decide to travel at the same speed as I'm travelling and stay in my blind spot. This makes me increase my speed, or slow enough to give you time to pass. If you decide to remain at that location, I'll turn on my turn signal and start a lane change. Depending on the speed, I'll either surprise you, or make you wan't to find the next exit to change your underwear. Do this next to me, and I'll slam on my brakes to watch you panic.

Tailgating - If I can see your headlights, I know you're in a hurry. I'll make every effort I can to allow you the ability to pass; maybe even pull to the shoulder. If I can't see your headlights, I'll gradually slow, until your head explodes, or you pass; watching the television on your dash.

Drifting - I know your text is important. That's why I called 911 to report a drunk driver. They even have your license plate number.

Avoiding a turn signal - I'm guessing every darned fool knows you make that turn every day at 3:00 pm; except me. The screeching of tires is to allow you reconsider using a turn signal in the future.

Avoiding the speed limit - Engineers designed the roadway to allow the speed posted. If it's too much for your abilities, stay on the shoulder or hit the ditch. You may not care, but the dumbass three cars back is trying to pass and your mother might be the car they hit, as she approaches from the opposite direction.

Rocking - I don't think there's an automobile made that doesn't have a cruise control. It's usually a button on the turn signal, or the steering wheel. Decide on one speed and stay there. I find it disconcerting, when I decide to pass and you decide to accelerate.

Drafting - I can see you back there; right at the point you're trying to increase your fuel economy by staying in the area that uses aerodynamics to allow your car to take advantage of the wake of my pickup. See tailgating above for reference of a reaction.

Some more will come to mind in the future. Those were just the ones encountered on the way home.


  1. You have traveled, haven't you!! Reading your post makes me sorta glad I no longer own a vehicle.

    Remember when Cracker Jack gave out little prizes in each box? I firmly believe that many of the driver's licenses came from the same source.

    1. Maybe so. I'm beginning to wonder if I missed an aisle in Walmart.

  2. "Avoiding the speed limit - Engineers designed the roadway to allow the speed posted. If it's too much for your abilities, stay on the shoulder or hit the ditch. You may not care, but the dumbass three cars back is trying to pass and your mother might be the car they hit, as she approaches from the opposite direction."

    And then there's the asshole in the left lane pacing the vehicle in the right. I like to call it a rolling road block. Those assholes are responsible for causing tail gating and road rage. A good many of them have their lucky stars to thank for me leaving the S&W 429 at home 'cause there's been many a time I wished I had it with me and raging enough after following them for 10 miles in the left lane to have used it

  3. ^ damned bi-focals....S&W 629....

    1. I've seen this at near 80 mph, with both drivers oblivious of the crowd behind that want's to go faster.

      At that time, I slow, look for the nearest exit and travel a few miles on the feeder road. If there's going to be mayhem, I want to pass the mess and not have to stop.

    2. It's a little different in my redneck of the woods. When I leave the highway without hitting a state route I'm on a county road...we don't have feeders here. County roads are just glorified wild animal trails that were turned into "roads" during the depression era. Bigger risk of running head on into a couple of kids running a mobile meth lab on the apex of a hill out there around here.

      Yeah, I should reconsider leaving the 629 at home.

  4. Two and a half things.
    Slower traffic stay right.
    Leave enough room in front.
    For the half, watch for motorcycles.
    I think it is because since motorcycles are not shaped like a car or truck the mind does not register.
    I have had drivers look right at me and not see me on the bike.
    Bet every motorcycle driver has had this done to them.

    1. People see a bicycle, the don't pay any attention. The lack of respect and diligence is reflected in their view of motorcycles.

      When you add the specific things involved with motorcycle riding, such as tougher conditions in high winds and reduced handling with bad road conditions, the rider's journey is further imperiled by ignorant drivers.

  5. Actually, I never had a car with cruise control until I was in my middle 40s, and by then I'd learned how to maintain my speed the old-fashioned way.

    1. Truckers do it all the time and most don't have a choice.

      The first time I drove a car with a cruise control, I didn't like it. I felt a little out of control, even though a quick tap on the brake, or push of a button could disable the device...or could it?

  6. This list is a great start. Is it just me, or are drivers getting worse every year? I sometimes think about my buddy I worked with over 30 years ago when we were part time college grunts. My buddy outfitted his vehicle with two water canons that fired at a 45 degree arc from both sides of his back license plate, and was controlled by a button on his dash. No doubt highly illegal and maybe a little dangerous, so he only used this 'weapon' against his friends. I like to believe he was comforted, however, knowing he was just the push of a button away from cleaning the windshield of a jackass behind him - but chose to keep that knowledge to himself. I have always wanted to install these water canons, but alas, I was a business grad and he an electrician/jack of all trades.