In Case You've Wondered

My blog is where my wandering thoughts are interspersed with stuff I made up. So, if while reading you find yourself confused about the context, don't feel alone. I get confused, too.

If you're here for the stories, I started another blog:

One other thing: sometimes I write words you refuse to use in front of children, or polite company, unless you have a flat tire, or hit your thumb with a hammer.

I don't use them to offend; I use them to embellish.

Friday, May 23, 2014

Strange, But That's My Life

I've found steel shavings in my uniforms. Since the uniform service washes huge loads, it's not uncommon for steel shavings to end up in shirts, or pants, and they become an annoyance during the day.

Today, I had that familiar feeling just below my right nipple ( Yes, I wrote "nipple". Get over it.) so, I unbuttoned my shirt to find the small shrapnel of steel and remove it from my shirt.

Lo, and behold, there was not small piece of steel; there was a fire ant; holding on with its pinchers and stinging to abandon.

I know you're asking: "How in the world did that happen?"

If you figure it out, write a comment. I have no idea.


  1. Replies
    1. Usually, fire ants crawl up your leg, wait until some reach your crotch, and the few hundred start stinging, as though they were commanded.

      This one, for whatever reason, took a long journey and decided to sting when it almost reached my head.

  2. Replies
    1. Their poison is potent.

      A few years ago, an individual in a local motel fell asleep and never awoke. The ants covered him, and the stings killed him.

  3. I'm glad we don't have fire ants in the PNW. but there are "black and red" ants that would F you up if you let them. One time in the basement of a 5 plex, I was in shorts and barefoot, and suddenly felt a weird stinging sensation on my ankles. I looked down, and there must have been 40 fleas on each lower leg. I high tailed it out of there and brushed 'em off outside where I could see good. Then I went to the store and got three flea bombs and just pitched 'em in there like grenades. I hate biting bugs. In fact I wish for their planetary demise.

    1. Years ago, while at scout camp, my new sneakers rubbed a blister and the raw skin was too tender to wear shoes. I had on some flip-flops, when I felt a tremendous burning sensation on the blister.

      I looked down and found a huge black ant, with its head stuck into the tender flesh. I killed it, before it finished its meal.