In Case You've Wondered

My blog is where my wandering thoughts are interspersed with stuff I made up. So, if while reading you find yourself confused about the context, don't feel alone. I get confused, too.

If you're here for the stories, I started another blog:

One other thing: sometimes I write words you refuse to use in front of children, or polite company, unless you have a flat tire, or hit your thumb with a hammer.

I don't use them to offend; I use them to embellish.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

A chopped food show

For a moment, I was wondering if I had lost any ability to write about anything - until I watched a cooking show on the television.

The show had four chefs, who would compete through the different courses of a meal under a time limit. Eventually, after the final desert is chosen, only one chef wins.

To start, the appetizer was composed of three ingrediants: beach sand, newspaper and running shoes. The chefs did well, but the judges were critical. Probably the worst critique was that the losing chef had served soggy beach sand. This chef was the first to go.

The entree' was composed of three ingrediants: chlorine bleach, used radial tires and chrome molding. I'm guessing they decided to forgo Mediterannean food and go for Nascar. The three remaining chefs did well, as far as I was concerned, but one of the picky judges really hated crispy steel belted radials, so another chef bit the dust.

The final desert was composed of three ingrediants, also: crushed glass, vacuum cleaner dust and turtle bowl water. The two deserts were fantastic and the judges were really torn on who should win. The winning decision hinged on the fact that one of the chefs made the mistake of adding too much sugar to their turtle bowl water and chocolate sauce. So, the winner was chosen for something as simple as having a dessert that was too sweet.

All in all, it was a really interesting show, but the ingredients were a little beyond what I'm used to. Maybe if I watch enough, they'll come up with something like the ingrediants of sirloin steak, potatoes and fresh romaine lettuce.


  1. I know exactly which show you're talking about. I was in the hospital last October, and for lack of anything else to watch, I watched the Halloween-themed episode of this show. It was ... different. Really, really different.

    OTOH, if you're into cooking shows, I never miss an episode of Good Eats.

  2. Damn. I really hate it when my turtle water and chocolate sauce is too sweet.

  3. The chefs are really competitive. They work hard at their craft, and you can tell they're really putting all their skills to work when they cook for the judges. Still, some of the food really doesn't look appetizing.

    When the judges start being petty and pretentious, it pisses me off. They could be more gracious, but I guess Simon Cowell is their idol. Now that would be a judge:

    "Face it, your dish sucks and you should go home before you embarass yourself."