In Case You've Wondered

My blog is where my wandering thoughts are interspersed with stuff I made up. So, if while reading you find yourself confused about the context, don't feel alone. I get confused, too.

If you're here for the stories, I started another blog:

One other thing: sometimes I write words you refuse to use in front of children, or polite company, unless you have a flat tire, or hit your thumb with a hammer.

I don't use them to offend; I use them to embellish.

Monday, August 8, 2011


Shortly after I moved from home, I was visiting my grandparents, which led to an invitation to stay for supper. Since I knew my grandmother was a wonderful cook, I gladly accepted. (This does have to do with gallbladders. Just keep reading)

She had cooked a roast, rice, with gravy and butterbeans. I'd never had butterbeans, but was suspicious since they look so much like lima beans, which are one of my least favorite foods. I had to try a few, since that's the proper thing to do, when you're at your grandparent's house. They were good- really good - so I had some more and complimented the cook.

Later at home, I was awakend by a terrible pain. Since this was before the movie "Alien" I didn't have the reference for description, but I felt like John Hurt when he decided to have something to eat. Rolling around, walking, and a hot bath offered no relief. I was wondering if I needed to seek professional help, when the pressure moved, the pain lessened and I knew it was gas. Eventually I fell asleep and woke the next day with my problem solved. Not only was that problem solved, but I saved money on fumigating for insects. I cracked the windows before I left for work.

Back to the gallbladder:.( I told you so) I woke about two years ago to the same type of pain. I tried the same things, but this time, nothing moved. In fact, the pain became so excruciating, I threw up. This was something that really got my attention. Before I made the desperate rush to the hospital, the pain started fading. It was a slow process, but eventually it was gone, although I felt like hammered crap due to the suffering. I assumed gas again, but I had nagging thoughts running through my mind. After all, it had been decades since my last episode and I hadn't touched a butterbean since. I couldn't think of anything I ate that would cause such a reaction.

Two days later, after I reached work, the pain hit again. It lasted a few minutes, and suddenly diappeared. I started looking up my symptoms on the internet and found I either had Pancreatic Cancer ( I know, everybody panics when they start reading symptoms) or gallbladder problems. I wondered which, but wasn't too worried. After all, it was, probably, only gas.

The next day was the deal-breaker. The pain was gradual and reached a new level of excruciating. By 10:00 am, I was doubled over and wondering if I could make it to the emergency room. I did, but as I was driving into the parking lot, the pain disappeared. Now what? I'd already called a doctor and their advice was to go to the emergency room.

I decided to go in. I'd had enough. The thought of another episode was not pleasant. I was a little surprised on how much of an effort it was to walk into the building. I must have looked really, really bad, because they didn't hesitate to put me somewhere where I couldn't infect the other patients. I'm guessing my yellow complexion was the deciding factor.

Long story short: my liver function was wrong, my skin was yellow, tests indicated my gall bladder was fubared and the good surgeon laproscoped it right out four days later. I did get to room with a Alzheimer patient with pneumonia, but that's another story that has to wait.

So, don't eat butter beans. They cause symptoms of Pancreatic Cancer. Consider this a public service announcement.

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