In Case You've Wondered

My blog is where my wandering thoughts are interspersed with stuff I made up. So, if while reading you find yourself confused about the context, don't feel alone. I get confused, too.

If you're here for the stories, I started another blog: scratchingforchange.blogspot.com

One other thing: sometimes I write words you refuse to use in front of children, or polite company, unless you have a flat tire, or hit your thumb with a hammer.

I don't use them to offend; I use them to embellish.

jescordwaineratgmail.com

Tuesday, May 12, 2026

They Moved My Appointment

My new appointment time for my colonoscopy is Monday the 18th at 8:00 am show-up time. It's a new place for me, but the doctor has the same name as a gastroenterologist that treated me during my gall-bladder fiasco in 2009. Maybe it's the same doctor, but I don't think so. He looks too young, so I have the feeling he's following in his father's footsteps to peer into the colons of patients. 

I will have to drink a gallon of a liquid that remarkably tastes like what I envision as the taste of battery acid. Truthfully, at the end of the gallon, I will probably again have the feeling I did drink a gallon of battery acid. I've done this before, and from what I've heard, the pills that do the same thing are not being used any longer due to incomplete cleaning. So, it's a gallon of liquid split over hours of sitting, and cleansing. 

Thinking about this, I remember a Dave Berry column about his procedure. Here it is for you enjoyment. 

Link

13 comments:

  1. I love Dave Berry.
    He's right, though. Get the test done.
    Good luck with everything, Jess.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks. After the test is over, there's usually three to ten years to dread the next one.

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  2. Had a couple of colonoscopys...the procedures easy. The prep, not so much. But a good prep is key to a successful procedure. And while unpleasant it's certainly not the worst thing to endure.

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    1. I follow the prep without any attempt at variances. Bad results demand another prep, and every three years is plenty.

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  3. As said it's not the procedure it's the prep work. Buy the softest TP you can and some medicated wipes.

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    1. After my first colonoscopy, I learned that certain things can lead to a raw behind, and hours more of prepping. When somebody asks what they'll be exposed to, I always tell them to dab, not wipe, and use wipes.

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  4. Replies
    1. After reading the Dave Berry article, I seriously considered some vodka in the prep mix. I won't. Being drunk, and draining, doesn't seem to be a good option.

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  5. I was scheduled for one a few years ago, but my wife got vertigo, and was unable to drive me, so I cancelled. I still have the $100 medication I had to get for the procedure.
    I recently got a referral from my current primary physician to a gastro for the purpose of getting a colonoscopy, after a Colorguard test came back positive.
    Best of luck to you on your procedure...I have yet to get one.

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    Replies
    1. It's probably best to get one, although it's not the most pleasant of experiences.

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  6. My wife squawked when her physician told her it was time to get a colonoscopy a few years ago, so he said, OK, get the home test and we'll talk when the results come back. She got a hit, which resulted in a colonoscopy that found something that would have killed her graveyard dead. Saved her life. Just get the damn colonoscopy already.

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    Replies
    1. My comment was meant to respond to extexaswannabe. Oooopsie.

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    2. My brother died of colon cancer. He was close to retiring, never had a colonoscopy, and became concerned with some bleeding. His cancer was stage 4, basically inoperative, and the cancer treatments didn't work.

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