Saturday, May 9, 2015
Body Mass Index
Mine is a shade under 23. That's supposed to be a good number, but considering the crap some scientist call science, who really knows? I think I'll go eat some cookies. I deserve it for having the right amount of mass.
A Group of Thoughts
This will not be a fluid masterpiece of writing skill. I have much on my mind, am busy, generally pissed off, and glad I don't suffer from chronic constipation.
- The Government: In a perfect world, most elected, and hired, government individuals would be slow roasted over an open fire. Not that I'm cruel, but sometimes, it seems to be the best solution. Maybe we could use the meat to feed a few starving, disadvantaged, minority cannibals.
- The NFL: If you can't play with deflated balls, maybe you should stop, take a look at your situation, and realize your importance in the grand scheme of things is at the same level as mouse farts.
- Illegal Aliens: No, I'm not politically correct. You are criminal pieces of crap, and I really don't care about your reasons for coming to the United States.....GET OUT!!!!
- Hillary Clinton: In a society, without a compulsion to be polite, only a few individuals, with distorted thinking, would consider her anything more than a lying criminal. If that's all the Democrats can come up with, my suggestion is they jump from the nearest high bridge.
- Global Warming: Anyone that believes humans are changing the climate should be horse whipped at dawn tomorrow morning.
- Bad Drivers: There are too many. To solve this problem, I recommend bulldozers at congested intersections.
- Social Media: It's like drinking alcohol. Some sip wine; others drink gallons of cheap whisky and lose all trappings of civility.
- The Alphabet Networks: As strange as this may seem, most that work at any of these networks are not human. We should find, and isolate theses folks. An island in the Pacific seems to be the best place. Give them plenty of teeth whitener and mirrors.
- City Governments:- If they represent most of the population, it's fair to assume the vast majority of urban areas are populated by dumbasses.
- Fast Food: It is fast, but it's also not very tasty, is too expensive, and the possibility of those preparing your food have failed to wash their hands after a trip to the restroom is something to always consider.
- Squirrels: I don't think God has squirrels in his neighborhood. If he did, I don't think there would be so many.
- Meteorologists: I think it's a scam, linked to Vegas, and it's the largest gambling operation ever created. I wonder how I can place some bets?
I have more to write, but don't have the time. Maybe later.
- The Government: In a perfect world, most elected, and hired, government individuals would be slow roasted over an open fire. Not that I'm cruel, but sometimes, it seems to be the best solution. Maybe we could use the meat to feed a few starving, disadvantaged, minority cannibals.
- The NFL: If you can't play with deflated balls, maybe you should stop, take a look at your situation, and realize your importance in the grand scheme of things is at the same level as mouse farts.
- Illegal Aliens: No, I'm not politically correct. You are criminal pieces of crap, and I really don't care about your reasons for coming to the United States.....GET OUT!!!!
- Hillary Clinton: In a society, without a compulsion to be polite, only a few individuals, with distorted thinking, would consider her anything more than a lying criminal. If that's all the Democrats can come up with, my suggestion is they jump from the nearest high bridge.
- Global Warming: Anyone that believes humans are changing the climate should be horse whipped at dawn tomorrow morning.
- Bad Drivers: There are too many. To solve this problem, I recommend bulldozers at congested intersections.
- Social Media: It's like drinking alcohol. Some sip wine; others drink gallons of cheap whisky and lose all trappings of civility.
- The Alphabet Networks: As strange as this may seem, most that work at any of these networks are not human. We should find, and isolate theses folks. An island in the Pacific seems to be the best place. Give them plenty of teeth whitener and mirrors.
- City Governments:- If they represent most of the population, it's fair to assume the vast majority of urban areas are populated by dumbasses.
- Fast Food: It is fast, but it's also not very tasty, is too expensive, and the possibility of those preparing your food have failed to wash their hands after a trip to the restroom is something to always consider.
- Squirrels: I don't think God has squirrels in his neighborhood. If he did, I don't think there would be so many.
- Meteorologists: I think it's a scam, linked to Vegas, and it's the largest gambling operation ever created. I wonder how I can place some bets?
I have more to write, but don't have the time. Maybe later.
Sunday, April 26, 2015
Lunchmoney Lewis - Bills (Official Clean) (Lyrics)
This is one of those songs that sticks in your head.
Saturday, April 25, 2015
Somebody Fill Me In
News reports, and an interview, confirm Bruce Jenner is a woman trapped in a man's body. So, he'll probably pay the big bucks to have his penis removed. After that, according to what I read (It's not for the faint of heart) he'll have the doctors create the new plumbing from salvaged meat scraps thrown away by the butcher....no that's not true; they'll use salvaged parts from his own body. I'm guessing they'll avoid any tissue on his face. He has to keep some looks, since he's not a very pretty woman.
Anyway, since he was married to a woman, does that make him a lesbian? Has he broken any marriage laws? What about his Olympic medals? Surely he broke some kind of rule by competing as a man, when he knew he was a woman.
Some days, the Twilight Zone seems as ordinary as a summer evening; sipping iced tea; and enjoying the cooler temperature. I think I'll go to the back porch, observe the young blue jays, and determine the most discrete way to prevent squirrels from trying to chew through the side of the shed.
Anyway, since he was married to a woman, does that make him a lesbian? Has he broken any marriage laws? What about his Olympic medals? Surely he broke some kind of rule by competing as a man, when he knew he was a woman.
Some days, the Twilight Zone seems as ordinary as a summer evening; sipping iced tea; and enjoying the cooler temperature. I think I'll go to the back porch, observe the young blue jays, and determine the most discrete way to prevent squirrels from trying to chew through the side of the shed.
Saturday, April 18, 2015
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