In Case You've Wondered

My blog is where my wandering thoughts are interspersed with stuff I made up. So, if while reading you find yourself confused about the context, don't feel alone. I get confused, too.

If you're here for the stories, I started another blog:

One other thing: sometimes I write words you refuse to use in front of children, or polite company, unless you have a flat tire, or hit your thumb with a hammer.

I don't use them to offend; I use them to embellish.

Tuesday, November 10, 2015

A Call to Aunt Rose


"Hi Aunt Rose. It's me, Todd."

"It's been awhile since I heard from you. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Aunt Rose. I was thinking about you, so I decided to call."

"I wish you had thought about me last month. Didn't your mother tell you I had knee surgery?"

"She did, but I was busy."

"Busy? I'm on the way to school. I had to hire a local kid to put out my garbage."

"Well, school is taking a lot of my time."

"I saw your  "lot of my time" on television. You were standing with all those students protesting about some kid getting his feelings hurt."

"This is important. The university President didn't handle the problem, when a student was called the "N" word."

"So, you weren't going to class because someone was called a bad name?"

"It's more than that. There's not enough diversity in the University of Missouri."

"Not enough diversity? What does that have to do with you? After all, your late Uncle Bill worked hard for all those years, left me some money, and told me on his death bed he wanted me to help you through college. His words were: "That boy can sure throw a football". Your mother said you didn't even try out for the team."

"I decided to become more involved with helping with important causes."

"It looks to me you're more involved with not going to school and standing around.....and what's the reason for chasing the reporters away? Isn't your major in communications?"

"It is, but..."

"Tell me how you can communicate, be in the media, or advertising, and you won't give anyone the time to speak their mind, or ask you questions?"


"And how can you finish school, if you spend more time standing around than studying?"


"I don't think you understand how blessed you've been with me paying your tuition, and helping with your college."

"I don't...."

"Lord knows your mother worked too hard for too many years, just to keep food on the table, and a roof over your head."

"I can...."

"I think the only reason you called was to get more money, so you can play at life, and ignore your responsibilities. Hy-Vee is hiring baggers. I think you need to take some time in the real world, and learn how to appreciate how much you've been given."


"Aunt Rose?.....Aunt Rose!!!!"


  1. The world needs more like Aunt Rose. They are really good at teaching special little snowflakes the realities of life.

    1. Too much of the special privilege these snowflakes expect was, and is, promoted by the universities. Easy student loans, liberal professors, and the willingness to trade responsibility for money led to an unrealistic view of the real world.

  2. Take a switch to his behind, Aunt Rose, and see if that little Missouri breaks! In fact, hit him again for me.

    1. Oh the horror! Their tender little buns might develop whelps, and the embarrassment will cause them to cry.