In Case You've Wondered

My blog is where my wandering thoughts are interspersed with stuff I made up. So, if while reading you find yourself confused about the context, don't feel alone. I get confused, too.

If you're here for the stories, I started another blog:

One other thing: sometimes I write words you refuse to use in front of children, or polite company, unless you have a flat tire, or hit your thumb with a hammer.

I don't use them to offend; I use them to embellish.

Thursday, November 5, 2015

Projected Increases

I was listening to a news report on the radio, which stated the Postal Service is predicting a 10% increase in holiday mailings. My mind started wandering, and I had a few questions:

How do they come up with this data? Do they ask people with questions like: "As a percentage, what is your projected increase in mailings this Christmas?" If so, who do they ask? I know they didn't ask me, and I'm curious about whether any of my readers were asked.

If they didn't ask anyone, how much did they arrive with their data, and how much did it cost? I can see some bureaucrat trying to justify their salary - which is wasted on their daily internet surfing - and thinking: "I think we need to hire a consulting firm to determine if we need to increase our spending to cover the costs of increased mailings this holiday season." After that, they convince their supervisor, who is a bigger waste of tax dollars, and it's on. After all, if they spend too much, they'll just beg for more of the Chinese loan money to cover their asses. Of course, the consulting firm manufactures all the data, places it in a shiny Powerpoint presentation, and even the smartest Senator will be impressed.

So, I'm sitting here and wondering about the report, while thinking of what difference it really makes if the Postal Service is a little behind, and someone doesn't get a Christmas card, until after Christmas day. Will the world end? Of course not. Will someone's life be terribly affected if Aunt Martha's three armed sweater doesn't arrive until New Years? I doubt it.

So, once again, my thoughts are on another great mystery that has no answer. I know in my heart I'll never have the answer, so I'll place it in the file with my question on why fast food restaurant clerks can't remember I told them "to go" in the few seconds required to repeat my order. I guess these things are like black holes. They exist, but it will take some really patient scientist to convince me an entire star is compressed to the size of nothing.


  1. I spent some years with the responsibility of accurately forecasting distribution for the next budget year. Part science and art (spreadsheets and coffee), the Publisher rarely liked the forecast and not wanting to present that to the owners, I would be sent back to the drawing board.. Strangely, when re-tasked for a better forecast, it usually came back predicting that "10% increase".

    1. A 10% increase must be that magical percentage. I see it often.

  2. The other thing, similar to the fast food thing, is the cashier at the supermarket going, "Paper or plastic?" and you say EARTH-DESTROYING PLASTIC AND DOUBLE IT THANKS, right? Then, in less than thirty seconds, the bagger-person asks you the same thing. It takes all I have not to scream, WHAT DID I JUST SAY? like a mom of days gone by. (Moms don't say shit like that anymore, they're busy on their cell phones letting the chirrens run wild run free and what a delight they are.)

    Where was I? Oh yeah. No, no one surveyed me to ask if I would increasing or decreasing my holiday mailings. Huh. I've never been asked. Ever. It's all made up BS, like you said, to justify budgetary bloat. Braaaap. I wish there was more critical thinking out there, don't you? People just accept everything. "Yes that sounds right, a ten percent increase, of course."

    1. I was once asked: "Paper or plastic?"

      I replied: "Kill a tree, or choke a fish?"

      She stared at me, while the wheels turned, but they failed to stop on anything she could use for a reply.

      I grabbed my bag, after she placed my goods in a plastic bag, and hurried away.