Scratching to Escape: Meanwhile, Down at the County Clerk's Office

In Case You've Wondered

My blog is where my wandering thoughts are interspersed with stuff I made up. So, if while reading you find yourself confused about the context, don't feel alone. I get confused, too.

If you're here for the stories, I started another blog: scratchingforchange.blogspot.com

One other thing: sometimes I write words you refuse to use in front of children, or polite company, unless you have a flat tire, or hit your thumb with a hammer.

I don't use them to offend; I use them to embellish.

jescordwaineratgmail.com

Monday, June 29, 2015

Meanwhile, Down at the County Clerk's Office

"Can I help you?"

"Yes. We're here for a marriage license."

"Have you been together for long?"

" I guess you can say that."

"You're a fine looking couple."

"Now hold on a minute. We're not gay."

"I don't understand."

"I owe him thousands, and the only way I can pay him back is to marry him, give him half my 401K
and hope he still doesn't want to break my leg with a baseball bat."

"That's more than unusual, and it might not be legal."

"Not so. The Supreme Court ruled I can marry him, and he can have all the benefits of our marriage, if we divorce."

"That's not the way it works. The law only requires you to give half of your 401K for the period of time you were married."

"Maybe so, unless I agree to a settlement that gives him half."

"Still, there might be some problems."

"I doubt it. If I pay the attorney, and the paperwork is filed correctly, I can remove a huge burden hanging over my head, when we divorce."

"You may be right. Fill out the forms, and you'll have a fee to pay for the marriage."

"Sound good. I can get this done, and be down at Bill's for happy hour."

"Next."