In Case You've Wondered

My blog is where my wandering thoughts are interspersed with stuff I made up. So, if while reading you find yourself confused about the context, don't feel alone. I get confused, too.

If you're here for the stories, I started another blog:

One other thing: sometimes I write words you refuse to use in front of children, or polite company, unless you have a flat tire, or hit your thumb with a hammer.

I don't use them to offend; I use them to embellish.

Monday, January 7, 2013

Don't Be Stupid....

...when someone else is better at it than you.

I was driving down the highway on the way home from work, which is a usual occurrence and the typical driver in the traffic knows how to drive. There's always someone that needs some more time to learn, but they usually stay in the right lane; hiding behind the steering wheel, with their eyes closed.

Today, while cruising along at 70 mph, the driver in front decided to slow a little, so they could take the next exit. I understood what they were doing, so I eased off the accelerator to give them a little room.

Meanwhile, a good Samaritan in the right lane decided they would slow a little to allow them in. This was the mistake. Both went into brain freeze and the next few moments were what scare the crap out of me when I drive.

They both continued to slow; the driver in front wanting to exit and the good Samaritan slowing to allow the lane change. The problem was they were pacing each other, the traffic coming up behind didn't appear to be slowing and I had that feeling you get when you know something really bad is about to happen.

I laid on the horn. Meanwhile, stupid 1 and 2 where now at about 20 mph and the traffic approaching was getting way too close to my rear bumper.

Finally - before we all were killed - the driver in front accelerated, passed the car and crossed into the right lane. I had the peddle to the floor and steadily insured I was ahead of the traffic behind. I passed them as they tried to figure out how to get where they were going, since they missed their exit.

Now you know the reason for my title. If you aren't sure what to do in such a situation, here's what's best.

1 - If you decide to slow a little to allow someone access to the right lane, you only give them two seconds to make their decision. If they don't accelerate and quickly move over, accelerate back to highway speeds and ignore their middle finger salute. After all, their being mad is a lot less dangerous than a 5000 pound pickup going 70 mph.

2 - If you decide to move to the right lane and someone decides to allow you in, you have 2 seconds to accelerate, pass in front of the car in the right lane and make the change, or you're supposed to accelerate back to highway speeds, find another exit and realize you're not as good a driver as you thought.

Those are the polite suggestions, which usually work, except in rush hour traffic. My suggestion is to never let someone in, unless you've drank beer with them and know their parents. If they don't fit that description, then you don't let them in and prove you're a bigger dumbass than they are.


  1. AaaaaHA! Exactly what I keep telling Stud. If they want in our lane, let them get in BEHIND us. I'm not being rude, just avoiding a tail-end collision. The other fright of my life is when OUR lane is open ahead of us. The lanes on both sides are bumper to bumper and Stud drives right up the middle without expecting the right and left idiots to mosey on in to the clear middle lane.

    He drove emergency vehicles all his life, red lights and sirens.

    I think it's the old mind-set.

  2. I worked in Houston for about six months. The traffic was beyond brutal and the people were far from friendly. It didn't take long to acquire a thick skin and just keep moving to keep from becoming a statistic.

  3. Yep. Joe says to keep the pedal to the metal, but he's just so damn POLITE when someone is trying to barge in front of him. (my passenger side invisible brake and horn don't work)