In Case You've Wondered

My blog is where my wandering thoughts are interspersed with stuff I made up. So, if while reading you find yourself confused about the context, don't feel alone. I get confused, too.

If you're here for the stories, I started another blog:

One other thing: sometimes I write words you refuse to use in front of children, or polite company, unless you have a flat tire, or hit your thumb with a hammer.

I don't use them to offend; I use them to embellish.

Monday, September 12, 2011

Some Advice

This is some advice for those that use the drive-through window:

1. Don't waste my time.
2. They can't see you very well, if at all, so hand gestures are useless, although amusing to watch.
3. The reason they have the numbered menu is because that's really what they want you to buy. Give them a number and the only real decision on your part is to decide what flavor soft drink.
4. If there is more than one order, you are forbidden to use the drive-through. I know that's not a written rule; it's my rule. Go inside and read rule no. 1.
5. Be aware of how much money you have on your person. Digging through the console, your pockets, the seats, your purse, your wallet, the visor, your passenger's pockets and their wallets should happen before you reach the window.
6. Don't special order anything. I don't care that you don't like tomatos, or pickles and prefer mustard. That's why you go inside. See the first rule.
7. Don't order 20 items. That means you slow the entire process and will eventually wait in your car. They have a special spot in the parking lot. You sit there until some pissed off clerk brings your food, which is soggy, old and probably tastes like crap. The drinks are so watered down, it takes a chemist to decide if they're cola or tea.
8. I know you have a car full of children. That's why they invented peanut butter and jelly. You can carry that in your vehicle, disburse the product as necessary and avoid violating the first rule. Stop at a convenience store for milk and plastic cups. Have a lactose intolerant child? Bottled water is the right choice.

All in all, if your time in the drive-through violates the first rule,  you're not only wasting my time, you're wasting the time of another. They probably, too, only have 30 minutes for lunch. I'm sure they despise you as much as I do.

-I know someone will comment about peanut allergies. My rule is to never allow anyone with a peanut allergy in your car, unless you carry an epi pen. Even then, I don't recommend it. Let them carry their own epi pen and, if they use it, never allow them in you car again.  


  1. I second all that you said, and would like to enlarge it to include the drive-through at the bank, as well. My bank has a sign up that says, (parphrasing), to limit yourself to three transactions, to have your deposit slip or check already written before you get to the window, and that they don't accept rolled coins at the drive through (it's too much weight for the vacuum tubes, people. You'll break them). They post the rules, but they NEVER enforce them. I spent 40 minutes in the bank drive-through last week to make a car payment. They have 5 lanes, but only two were open, and only one teller to work them both, on a Friday, at lunchtime. WTF?

  2. My bank decided to renovate. The renovation included some changes, including squeezing the lanes down to compact car size, except for one lane that will fit a truck, or SUV. I can see this, in a metropolitan area, but I live in a small community that has a lot of ranchers and farmers. Since I drive a pickup, I use that lane, which usually means a long line and waiting behind the "gentleman" farmers and ranchers.They live in their own time zone, which is slower than mine.

  3. And while we're at it, how 'bout some rules for those self-checks at the grocery store? Like enforcing those 20-item limits by voiding out all the items you rang up to that point if you go over and forcing you to take it to a manned checkout. Same thing if you're taking way too long, meaning: you don't know how to operate the thing. And all alcohol and other restricted purchases MUST be rung up by an employee at a manned checkout - no such transactions allowed at a self-check.